How not to lose it and how to have more of it
When all is said and done, we all want to live in a state of inner harmony and calm. Unfortunately, the hustle and bustle of life, daily schedules, challenges, and basically the running around can eat into our peace as they escalate anxiety, worry, and stress.
The good thing is that every human being has an instrument that measures their state of harmony. Maybe it is in the joy, high spirits, gratitude, and energy that we feel when we are in a place of inner peace. However, like a jar cracking open, peace eludes us when we get angry, hurt others or become fussy over things that we can resolve. Think about what happens to you as a parent when you quarrel with a child over something as minor as a disorganized room or an argument with a spouse overcoming home late. The aftermath like a sword pierces your heart long after the incident. Your mind continues to ruminate over the situation for a long time and you keep feeling the same hurt all over again until you seek to resolve the issue through say apologizing.
I am not insinuating that it is possible to go through life without experiencing moments of distress or pain. On the contrary. As the world around you keep unfolding and life continues to happen, you will constantly encounter moments of anger, stress, pain, and immense tension. How you respond to these moments is really the issue. Like a canoe in raging waters, one must make it a habit to keep peddling the oars as opposed to getting distressed at the raging water. Allowing yourself to be at peace in spite of your situation is really the human quest to finding peace.
Inner distress like a whirlwind starts small. Once you become upset, you start going through a set of motions and emotions. You may start pacing, your heart starts racing, your breath shortens and things could literally run out of control. If you don’t catch yourself and nib these feelings at the bud, there is a likelihood that will lose yourself to your reactions and end up saying or doing things that you may end up regretting.
A more amicable approach to maintaining a state of inner peace includes taking a breath and finding a moment to observe the situation almost like a third party and then focusing on the positive side of the story or what you are grateful for. Regardless of what is not going right, maintaining a state of inner calm entails being optimistic in your ability to resolve the situation and becoming more dynamic to accept changes as they come even when they seem to be accompanied by discomfort.
I wish it were possible to don our minds and hearts with a protective helmet against adversity and life pains. The challenge here is to appreciate that adversity will come sometimes when we least expect and the honors is not to be angry or wish the pain away but to accept that which we must accept, resolve what can be resolved, and with a positive spirit allow life to happen as it should.
Miriam M. Chege
Founder and Lead, Coach, Big Leap International
Photo courtesy of